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    On August 24, 2015 I was diagnosed with stage 2 Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer (triple negative). When the doctor uttered those words, "Breast Cancer" my world was flipped upside down. I was just 25. This blog is just a way for me to work through what I am going through. I have gone through IVF treatments, a port surgery, 16 rounds of chemotherapy (taxol, carbo, A/C), a lumpectomy (I had a complete response to chemo), and 33 rounds of radiation. I finished treatment in June of 2016.

    I am a Graphic Designer, Photographer, Wife, and now I am a Breast Cancer Survivor.

    *Photo above by I was featured here and here.
    *Photo of me and my cute husband by Shadi Garmen Photography. See more here.

So excited to announce what I’ve been working so so hard on.

Click on the link below to see the…

Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign

My friend Jazi and I have worked so hard to make this happen. I’m so excited to release it. The new shirts. The stories. The real life awareness. No pink ribbons anywhere there. Did you notice that?

It makes me emotional to think about how much I’ve done with this shop. To me, it looks so good for only being open since May. I’m so emotional because a year ago I was starting chemo around this time. This year I can try to spread awareness. I can try to tell people to check themselves. Be aware. Donate to Metavivor and live life.

If you have cancer, please know that you must live life. Did you read  Jennifer’s Story?

“You are alive, so LIVE. Stage IV is not a death sentence, you do not have an expiration date. Take everyday as it comes and fill it with the people and things that you love. If you take nothing else away from this experience, know and understand that each moment is a gift and you have the power to choose how to use it, not cancer.” -Jennifer

How powerful is that. LIVE LIFE. Cancer or not.

IF you don’t have cancer then praise God and LIVE life. You get my point though right? Let this be an awareness to keep on going. No matter what our battles are.

Anyway stop reading and check it out. NOW.:)


Photos below by Jazi of

Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign. Cancer Survivors 40 and under.Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign. Cancer Survivors 40 and under.





I took a few photos with my camera while visiting baby Hectito. I like calling him by his nickname.:)Here is my favorite and a photo of his little footprints.

  • September 19, 2016 - 8:53 pm

    Ivette - The picture of the baby looks like something out of a magazine! It’s awesomely beautiful!ReplyCancel

    • September 19, 2016 - 8:54 pm - Aw thank you! I have more just didn’t want to share too much for their privacy but I can send you a link!ReplyCancel


Today was insane. Got into a car accident with the husband. Waited over two hours for the police and 40 minutes in the guy tore off his bumper and left the scene. No worries, we had his license plate number. It was just a very annoying situation. He crashed into us at a red light. 🙄 
BUT then we got the call. The baby is here. After filing a police report we headed off to the hospital. I saw my brother and niece first. We walked into the room and there was the baby in my mom’s arms. I peeked at the baby and my brother asked lili to tell us the baby’s name (we didn’t know the gender or the name beforehand). She said, “Hector”. My eyes got watery, but the moment was a beautiful one. They named him after my dad. Later on they asked again and she pointed to heaven. 
I miss my dad terribly, but I’m so happy for new life. For this little boy’s life. For another Ray of Sunshine that help us finish off the year. 
Hector David, I love you so much. 

  • September 18, 2016 - 3:44 am

    Ivette - What a blessing! I don’t say this about all babies, but he really is beautiful!!

    I hope you and Joe are okay!

    Love you,

    • September 18, 2016 - 3:45 am - Haha I know. I think he’s a beautiful one too. Lol we are ok! I should talk about our crazy story in another blog lol. ReplyCancel

  • September 18, 2016 - 11:31 am

    Teri - Congratulations to all of you God is good has gave you the best gift Hector is beautiful. So glad you are all safe from the car accident. This is one story. Love you guysReplyCancel

  • September 18, 2016 - 5:55 pm

    Valerie Papoutsis - I can’t tell you how happy I was to read this! Much happiness to all your family. Your dad is watching down with smiles.ReplyCancel


When Fight Apparel Designs asked me to take a couple photos in exchange for a shirt, I said yes. She’s not only a shop owner I admire, but she is a breast cancer survivor. God healed her from Stage IV cancer. Just recently there was a spot on her lungs in her most recent scan. Will you all join me in prayer? It will be a few weeks before another scan is done, but right now it’s all in God’s hands.

A blog I read this morning had this verse…

Matthew 6:34

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

That verse is so good. If you read my last post you’ll know why.

Anyway back to the photos. Special thanks to the hubby for coming with me to take these.  Below is a shirt by FightApparelDesigns and the necklace/tote bag are by my shop


Hope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shootHope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shoot in chicagobreast cancer survivor - Hope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shoot - chicagoPunch Fear in the Face ShootHope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shoot - FightHope25 Punch Fear in the FaceHope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shoot - Fight - pink ribbonHope25 Punch Fear in the Face bloopersHope25 Punch Fear in the Face Shoot Chicago GraffitiHope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shootPunch Fear in the Face Shoot in Chicago with some amazing graffitiHope25 and fightappareldesigns photo shoot


I’ve been terrified of not being afraid so much anymore. And that terrifies me. What if I jinx myself with feeling like God’s healed me for good? What if I’m wrong? What if I feel like I’m going to be ok, and then in the end I’m not and the cancer comes back? So many people have told me I’m going to be ok so why am I afraid of reoccurrence? Am I afraid to trust in that? What if I’m too afraid to believe in that and it’s God trying to tell me that I’m going to be ok with this whole Cancer thing? What if…so many what ifs. Truth is, I need to keep praying. I need to grow my relationship with God because only then will my fears drip away. Only then can I find a peace that’s everlasting. 

Then I get terrified like what if I am coming to this realization because God’s preparing me for my worst fear?  But really what if I have started feeling all this because I’m wiser? Because through my dark days I’ve learned so much. Because maybe somebody else needs to hear this. I remember listening to a church service before my dad passed about a lady who had cancer. How they wanted her to be healed in the hospital. They believed she would, and then she passed. But her healing wasn’t our definition of healing. It was a healing that would occur in heaven. I remember being so mad that day, but I believe now it’s exactly what I needed to hear. Because if you believe in God you will go to heaven and that’s where my dad is. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. That’s what my dad used to say. He’s now  free from the pain and sickness. Again, in the end it will all be ok. 

I was watching a movie called God’s of Egypt with Joe. A part of the movie had a girl who was waiting on her judgment in the afterlife. I thought wow wouldn’t that be great if there was a place you could go to forever and be happy. Where everything was perfect? Oh wait, there is. It was such a face palm moment for me. Think about it though. For someone who’s biggest fear used to be death (now it’s cancer), that’s a huge thing to be a tiny bit less afraid.  

Back to fear…Why do we allow ourselves to get so scared, when God has our back through it all? I’m so so guilty of this. Everyday I punch fear, and it’s getting better, but it’s a work in progress.

This week I went to church for a mini series called Midweek (on Wednedays) and we went over Romans 8. We were told to read over and pick a verse and meditate on it this week. My verse for the first portion we read was this, and I think it’s fitting to what I said…

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭8:6

If you’re reading this and you have some insight on this, please share in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Mom, that includes you. 😉
I shared this on my shop’s Instagram but I needed to share this here. It’s been on my heart lately. How even if my worst fears were to come true, God’s got me. It’s going to be ok, because the end result no matter what is heaven. How beautiful is that? While I hope for a long life with beautiful babies in my future for me and all my loved ones…no matter what God’s plan is he’s got our back. He loves us. 

I remember being terrified this time last year. What was cancer going to do me? Would I live to see 26? What would I look like bald? I was terrified. I eagerly searched through #breastcancer tags looking to see what real life as a survivor/fighter was like. I was desperate for clues on if it was going to be ok. Fast forward to today. I turned 26. My hair is growing back. I’m done with treatment. Life moves on, but I need to tell you…Yes, you reading this. It’s going to be ok. I know, it doesn’t always feel like it. I know your situation might be worse then mine. I firmly believe in a God that loves me, and I’m starting to see now that no matter what happens he is there for me. Through my cancer diagnosis and treatment, through my dad’s diagnosis, through losing my dad, through the fear he has never left my side. If I stopped and just breathed, I realized that he was providing me comfort and peace. A peace that allowed me to get through the darkest of days. So please know, that whatever you are going through…Whatever stage you are at in life, whatever battles you might be facing, you are going to be ok. By our human standards it might not feel ok, but God’s got you. I see you. You are not alone.

If you’re reading this and I made you sad, I’m sorry. That’s not my intention. My intention is to give you hope and to remind you that God is with us. If you need a prayer tonight let me know please. I’d be happy to do so, as so many have done for me. 

Edited to add: I feel a lot better getting this all off my chest. I realize it’s a battle of not just fear but truly trusting in God for me. <3

  • September 9, 2016 - 11:47 am

    Naomi - Thank you for posting this. So many people fight for Hope and it’s a great reminder to look towards God for that.ReplyCancel

  • September 9, 2016 - 3:12 pm

    Ivette Pagan - Melissa

    I’m always touched and blessed by your messages. To see how much you’ve grown spiritually is an amazing thing. Your fears and struggles are “human” as you well stated; we can even say they’re “normal” and expected. But, what’s great is that in spite of that, you realize that you serve a God who is greater and bigger than any fear or any problem. Most of all, the realization that our lives are not just about the here and now, in this world. We are to look forward to our eternal lives, our hope, which is in Christ, our Lord.

    Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

    2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

    Titus 1:1-2 Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the sake of the faith of God’s elect and their knowledge of the truth, which accords with godliness, in hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before the ages began.ReplyCancel

    • September 9, 2016 - 3:14 pm - I was hoping you’d reply to this. I love your replies. I love the 2 Corinthians one the most. Thank you. ReplyCancel