This Thursday is my birthday, so today I wanted to tell you how I feel about turning 27! I’ve always been one to celebrate my birthday month, just ask my husband and he’ll tell you how annoying I can be about reminding everyone. 😉 When I was in my early twenties I remember friends that were a few years older then me complaining about being in their mid-twenties. I’ll never really understand why there is such a stigma with getting older, but I never really cared and I still don’t. I’ve always celebrated it loudly and proudly, except for the past two years.
I still celebrated it, but turning 25 we were going through a hard time as a family so I just did brunch and had a night away with the husband. I always thought 25 would be a great year, it was such a solid and pretty number. I was so excited, but it started rough and it only got rougher when I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. I then lost my dad and three months later there was an empty seat during my 26th family birthday dinner. So I guess this year I was a little weary deep down about celebrating and I literally just sent a super late and last minute text asking if anyone wants to join us to watch a comedy show for my birthday. I guess it’s a little harder to celebrate sometimes.
Life has been tough, and people around me are having babies or are simply busy. I find myself feeling like maybe it’s silly to celebrate. As I navigate through life after cancer and what that means, I also find myself constantly mourning a ‘normal’ life. A normal life that means planning for babies like everyone else (doctor’s have told me it will be hard to have any after chemo), not worrying about getting cancer again, or having a solid career. Instead I’m trying to grow a business, living on a small budget, and I’m in a constant roller coaster of emotions as I mourn the loss of my dad and I mourn the loss of other things cancer stole from me.
But I can’t live in the negative. I can’t live in the fear, but as I write this it all comes to surface what I’ve been feeling. One thing is certain, we can’t be ashamed to be another year older. I’m so proud to be turning 27 because that means I’m alive. That means that God has blessed me with being in remission and I need to acknowledge and celebrate that. So on Thursday I plan on celebrating with my husband and then going to a family dinner. On Saturday, weather or not people join us, we’ll celebrate again with a comedy show. In true Melissa fashion, I can’t just celebrate one day. It has to be more then one day. 😉
I hope 27 brings continued success with Hope25. I hope I can continue to grow as a person and as a business women. I hope I can continue to heal both emotionally and physically. I hope I can continue to follow my dreams and go on many more vacations. Forget gifts, I think vacations are my love language ;). I hope I can continue to punch fear in the face and just live life.
So despite all these things swirling in my head, I’m pretty happy to be turning 27. Cheers!
P.S. photos from our San Fran trip. <3 Thank God for timers. haha